“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” — E.M. Forster
As I look back over the posts I’ve made since I started this blog back in October, about half are recipes (mostly vegan) and the other half are a mixture of parenting, health and fitness, and general household. My husband said to me the other night, after another tasty dinner, “Wow, you’ve really gotten into this cooking thing, huh? I have to admit, it surprises me. I like it, but it surprises me.” When we first got married, if it was my night to make dinner, it was bagels with cream cheese or pizza. I’ve come a long way since then–experimenting with recipes, inventing my own, understanding odd ingredients.
And parenting–whew! If you’d told me 3 years ago that I would make baby food for my children and start potty training them both before they turned a year old, I wouldn’t have believed it. I am SO sorry to mothers everywhere for daring to think, when I was a single, working professional, that stay-at-home moms are taking the “easy” way out. Motherhood is so incredibly difficult, at once demanding patience, creativity, energy, multitasking, and dedication.
I have moments from time to time now when I’ll stop and think, “Who AM I? Who is this person I’ve become?” I actually own a sewing machine, although I’m fairly incompetent with it. I cook everyday, usually multiple times, from scratch. I organize play dates, contemplate disciplinary methods, and agonize over the high fructose corn syrup in Fig Newtons. I’m no longer the person that wants a high-visibility NATO job in a French-speaking country in Africa, but I don’t know what I want. One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to write down some long-term goals, but I have yet to do so. I am excited for the future and all the possibilities it holds, for me personally, and for my family.
Life may not be exactly what I planned, but I think it’s much better.